I don’t know for sure when dad introduced J into your lives. I do know that he and S & L were living with her by February last year and that makes her a pretty big part of your lives, and by extension, a part of mine as well. We haven’t met yet, though I’m sure someday we will. I am looking forward to it, actually. Indulge me a little here, and I’ll tell you why.
I’ve had the fortune to meet a family with many diverse relationships and observe how they respond to the changing statuses of various people. What I noticed is that, regardless of marriage, divorce, remarriage or dating situations, this family is all-inclusive. For example, the man who has children from a previous marriage and is now married to a woman with children from a previous marriage is considered ‘dad’ to her children just as she is considered ‘mom’ to his; and both sets of children (now grown) consider themselves to have two dads and two moms and they love them all dearly. Nothing is taken away from anyone, because everyone is taken for who they are… a loving member of a group that chooses to identify themselves and each other as family.
What does this mean to me? It reminds me that there is no such thing as too much love for any of us. Nor is there any reason to limit how we define it. Certainly, as your mother I want you to have many positive people in your lives. My love and my place can never be threatened by someone who loves my children. In fact, our relationship can only be strengthened because of our shared devotion. That is something I told A.S. many years ago; it remains true today. And it applies to J as well. As long as she enhances your lives, in any way, I celebrate and welcome her presence. There is simply no such thing as too much love.
This belief goes deep. In the last few months, I’ve had a few dreams with dad in them and J is always there as well. We’ve only spoken in two of them – the first and the last – but the conversations were pleasant. In fact, the most recent one began with dad and me talking over some parenting decisions followed by J and I having a delightful chat – purely “girl talk,” full of lighthearted laughter. I awoke slightly amused to the realization that I already really like her and we’ve never met! Apparently, even my subconscious is at peace with her and her place in your lives.
The only limits on love are those we impose. Anyone who has a place in your heart is esteemed in mine as well. How could it be otherwise if I truly love you?
There is never too much love.